Decisions
by Scarabbug
Summary: Christopher Thorndyke remembers what it was like to be twelve years old. But he isn’t twelve years old anymore, in spite of how he looks. He doesn’t want to be treated like it.


**This is a series of short vignettes, which shouldn't be longer then a few chapters. Inspired by the song "Precious Illusions" by Alanis Morissette. This first one takes place during episode two of Sonic X's final series, "Cosmic Crisis", when Tails and Co. are working on getting the Blue Typhoon ready for its maiden journey into space to fight the Metarex. **

**Standard disclaimers apply. Reviews and concrit are appreciated.**

* * *

Decisions.

Beginning.

It feels ironically appropriate: that way things have worked out here, that is. His new, older, more understanding brain stuck in his pre-adolescent body.

Christopher Thorndyke remembers exactly what it was like to be the age he now _looks_ and he knows that, so far as twelve year olds went, he was as normal as you got when you spent your time chasing around after a blue hedgehog who could run at the speed of sound. And usually ended up having to be rescued from some dangerous situation or another _by_ the aforementioned blue hedgehog.

Well, okay, so that wasn't really very _normal_ at all.

'Hey, Tails?'

'Ngh, Hang on a sec, Chris, I think I've almost _got_ this...'

'Sorry, just thought you'd like to know that the batch of Chaos Circuitry over the main control panel is connected up wrong. You've got your poles reversed.' He points at the appropriate bit of circuitry. he can't be totally _sure_ that it's wrong, of course, (Chaos-based systems as a rule don't work the same way as earth-based ones do, but better safe than sorry, right?)

'Oh, thanks, I was wondering why it... Wait what?

Chris points at the circuit with one hand while counting wires in an open control panel with the other. Tails builds a lot of his stuff just the way grandpa does – haphazardly and with different parts of the machine coming together at different speeds.

'Your poles. They're reversed? I mean you've gotten the negative connection attached to the positive and—'

'Uh, yeah,_ I_ know what that means. But how do _you_ know what a reversed Chaos Circuit looks like?

'Well it operates on the same principles as an electric circuit, doesn't it?'

'Yeah...'

'Well then. I took a class on electronics last semester. Switched to mechanics halfway through, but I still remember the basics, I think. Electricity and Chaos aren't all that different, when you think about it. They're both a good source of potential ener... You okay, Tails? You're looking at me weird.'

'Oh, sorry. Um. Chaos Poles. Getting right on that.'

Yeah. Christopher Thorndyke remembers what it was like to be twelve years old. But he _isn't_ twelve years old anymore, in spite of how he probably looks. He doesn't want to be _treated_ like it.

Which is why he's currently going to such lengths to convince Tails that he can handle the _Blue Typhoon's_ circuitry without anyone else's assistance. He thinks he's doing pretty well considering that Sonic keeps zipping in to distract them every few minutes. He's being awfully flippant considering that there's a potential invasion in progress, and all, but then, that's just Sonic, being the guy that Chris remembers him as.

They're _all_ pretty much the way he remembers then, in fact. Cream is still sweet and friendly, Knuckles still has issues with his temperament, Sonic is still _Sonic_, and it's still amazing the things that Tails can do with just a screwdriver and a memory board.

Actually, when you get down to it, the only person who's really any different is—

'Chris? What're you doing?'

'Oh, I figured I'd realign that bit of the circuitry for you since you were busy. It's okay, look –I'm wearing the anti-conductive gloves.'

'I... see.'

'Sorry I got carried away with myself, didn't I? I know you don't like people messing around with your machines...'

'No, it's alright. I think. I mean you look like you're doing a good job...'Tails prods at some of the wires Chris was just messing with, inspecting them the same way grandpa used to inspect his hands at the controls of a light aircraft. 'A _really_ good job, in fact.'

'Heh. No need to sound so surprised.'

'Actually I think there is. When on earth did you _learn_ all of this stuff, Chris?'

'Like I said before, Tails: I'm pretty much in the wrong body right now. Older than I look.'

Tails smiles. 'Yeah, I figured that much out when you started reading my programming codes and translating them into binary without assistance.'

'Well, you're gonna need all the mechanical help you can get out there, right? Those degrees I'm earning ought to count for something.'

'Yeah, it's not like I'm gonna have much other help on the mechanics front,' Tails says. 'I mean, Knuckles' idea of fixing something is to hit it until it starts working again. Or falls to pieces. Whichever comes first.' Tails grins, and Chris manages a snigger this time, at the thought of Knuckles having anything to do with all this complicated machinery, truth be told, Knuckles has a very important role to play in all of this. Just not a very technical role.

Strange, really. The Blue Typhoon's engine is a highly intricate and scientific piece of machinery which requires an awful lot of energy to work. But ultimately, it's powered by nothing more than sheer strength of mind. Chris is still wrapping his head around that fact.

'Still. I never really had you pegged as the type who really enjoyed this kind of stuff, Chris,' Tails goes on. 'I used to think that even when you were older, you wouldn't be... Be...'

'So much like my grandpa?'

'Well, yeah.' There's a pause, as if Tails wants to broach a subject he's not entirely sure of and is preparing himself to do so. 'What happened? Don't they teach Zoology at Station Square?'

Chris hesitates. It takes him a few minutes to understand what Tails is asking; then he remembers burning hot blue skies and the endless grass of the African plains in his memory. Searching for Sonic. Saving a Nature Preserve... And then Sonic again, on an absolute whim, picking him up and racing them back across the plains to the Blue Typhoon.

Now _that_ was a long time ago. 'You remember that?'

'Sure I do. It hasn't been as long for me as it has for you, right?' Tails chuckles.

'Yeah, right. To be honest, I didn't _check_ whether they taught zoology at home or not. It didn't seem that important, at the time,' Chris mutters, speaking more to himself than to Tails. He can't remember the exact point at which Zoology faded from his mind as a potential career subject, but it had, and it'd been replaced by Electronic studies and Inter-Dimensional-Studies and Piloting studies and page after page of sketched designs for high-speed equipment and Chaos-generating machinery. For the last four years or so, the portal has been _all_ he's really thought about.

_This world_ has been all he really thought about. Getting here. Seeing Sonic again.

There are a lot of things he didn't account for, Chris supposes. Like how different _he_ would be when he finally got here, for one, and how tricky it would be to get the others to understand that he wasn't the twelve year old he used to be (a task made even more difficult by the fact that his body no longer matched his brain).

Chris isn't entirely sure how he feels about that. 'Still, that's not a bad thing, right? I'm pretty sure a mechanic is gonna be more useful up in space than a zoologist would be.'

'I guess...' Tails doesn't sound completely sure. He opens his mouth as if to say something else, but Chris will never find out what that is because the blue speed blur of Sonic sweeps past them at that moment, disrupting the circuits and systems that Tails had been so carefully organizing before sticking them back into the computer.

He still knows how to make an entrance, apparently.

'Hey!' Tails muttered irritably. 'Come on, Sonic; stay outta the control room until we're done with this, okay?'

'Sorry bud. Hey, Chris,' Sonic waves to him from the overhead walkway. Chris waves back and realises that he's smiling on absolute impulse. Even though Sonic has just messed up half of their good work, he can't help but be pleased to see him. 'Just getting kind of antsy, is all. There's not much happening out there.'

'You can be antsy somewhere else, Sonic,' Tails chuckles. 'Trust us, it won't be long now. We just have to finish putting together this hardware and running a few more software checks and...'

Sonic looks bored halfway through Tails' first sentence. 'Whoa, whoa, _whoa_, buddy, less of the techno mumbo jumbo, just tell me how long you're gonna be.'

'Oh, not long, really. About... half an hour, give or take.'

'Half an _hour_?' Sonic almost whines. To him, "half an hour" is no different from saying "forever".

'I'm sure you can occupy yourself until them, Sonic,' Tails smiles. 'Maybe you should go check that the others aren't getting up to any trouble, huh?'

'Maybe the Metarex will send another robot for you to beat up,' Chris suggests, and is quite surprised, actually, by the fact that he's even making the suggestion. Imagining the Metarex beasts as something to occupy a bored Sonic doesn't feel appropriate somehow. But that doesn't stop it from being the first thing he thought of.

Sonic disappears before Chris has the chance to dwell upon this thought.

It's strange, but... Chris feels a call rising and falling in his throat. A part of him wants to call Sonic back. To ask him to stick around. In case something happens, or else just for the heck of it. For one long, disorienting moment, Chris feels just the way he used to back he was a kid, and it was always a battle to get Sonic to stay in one place for long enough to have a conversation. The only time Sonic ever really focuses on anything is when he's rescuing them from something...

Chris snaps himself back to reality. He doesn't need to have a conversation with Sonic right now. And he doesn't need any help. Plus, it's been a long while since he's needed rescuing from anything...

* * *

"_You'll complete me right?  
Then my life can finally begin  
I'll be worthy right?  
Only when you realize the gem I am?_

_But this won't work now the way it once did  
And I won't keep it up even though I would love to  
Once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am  
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim._

_These precious illusions in my head did not let me down  
When I was defenceless  
And parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends."_

Alanis Morissette, Precious Illusions.


End file.
